We are very excited about a new “school” year starting here at İçsel Doğum. We have new trainings starting up, and some exciting new developments waiting in the wings. This past year has been one of a lot of reflection and not a lot of out-put, at least for me. I feel like I have been sitting in silence with the feeeling of a pending transition, without even being sure what this transition is from or into! You may have felt something similar during pregnancy or while parenting. It is clear during pregnancy that things are changing , but as mothers and fathers, we can never be sure exactly what that change is going to bring. And for most of us, the unknown can be a pretty scary place!
At our yearly Ekip İnzivası, we decided to try out a new thing with monthly themes to help give us some form to the content we share with you. For me, growing up in the US, October was all about playfully facing fear. Halloween comes at the end of October, and the holiday as it was celebrated in my childhood was not so much about witches but about leaving ordinary reality for a time. It was about having fun being terrified and terrifying eachother as we faced all the scary monsters and things that go “bump” in the night. In reality, though many us may not have been aware, it was about facing the unknown.
Fear of childbirth or breastfeeding not going as planned, fear of not being a good enough parent, fear of pain or of loosing control are all common concerns for new parents. In our current culture, fear is something that is usually avoided, suppressed, or glossed over in childbirth preparation. We often think that if we don’t give energy to our fearful thoughts that we will prevent our fears from manifesting. While it is true that dwelling on fear is often stressful and counterproductive, so is attempting to ignore it completely. Fear is such a powerful emotion, and trying to ignore it can often have equally powerful and possibly unwished for effects, such as delaying labor, affecting milk supply, causing anger and stress in our relationships and influencing our decisions.
Fear is typically ignited when we are faced with the unknown. Despite knowing so much about the physical processes of pregnancy, birth, human milk production and supporting the growth of new little humans, there are still aspects of these miraculous functions which will always remain in the realm of the unknown. So it is in our best interest as parents to learn ways of coping with the fear that comes with entering this “other” realm. Fear has so much to teach us about the ways in which we can grow, about our weaknesses, vulnerabilities, needs and expectations.
So this month we will be focusing how we can enter into the unkown and remaining intact, if not unchanged. We look forward to hearing your questions as stories as we face our fears together!